Love Somebody

This is a copy/paste of one of Derek’s Facebook notes.  We’ve been talking a lot about this lately and I’m really glad he wrote this. I know it’s something he’s been frustrated with lately, so it’s pretty raw, which is great. Here it is:

I have a lot of frustration with my world lately. I feel like no one wants to be honest. No one wants to seek the things that really matter. Everyone is so concerned with what everyone else thinks of them that they end up wearing a mask in every setting they’re in. Someone who is blatantly honest about the way they are feeling is seen as rude. It’s socially unacceptable. It makes people uncomfortable when someone shares what is really going on inside them. But isn’t that the most important? What is a friendship or relationship based on if that isn’t acceptable?

We all act like everything is 100% peachy all the time. There is no way that is reality. In a world as messed up as this one, someone we interact with on a daily basis is probably having a bad day for one reason or another. Either we don’t care enough to really ask someone how they’re really doing or when someone does ask us that question, we don’t say how we’re really feeling. We lie. We put on the happy mask that says everything in my life is great! How do we ever expect to help each other and really be there for each other if we aren’t transparent enough to tell people how we’re really doing? How do we ever expect other people to overcome struggle in their lives when we won’t even admit our own?

What is and isn’t socially acceptable annoys the crap out of me. If someone says “Come and talk to me if you need anything,” then mean it. It’s that simple. If you want to be there for someone, then be there for someone. That person is not usually going to ask you for help when they’re really down. They’re not going to want to talk about it. IF you’re a true friend, then love on them. Do something. Take initiative. It doesn’t mean you need to be the Dr. Phil in their lives. Just be there. It doesn’t take much too really show someone you care about them.

It seems to me that there are so many things that are backwards in my life. I would tell you that the friendships I have in my life are very important to me. I feel like they should be more important than a night of studying. Yet how easy is it to use school as an excuse to not spend time with someone? “Oh, believe me I would hang out with you, but I’ve got a busy next three weeks. How about sometime during Christmas break?” Congratulations. You’ve just succeeded in making someone feel like they don’t matter to you. Of course you’re busy. We’re all busy. Busy is easy to do in our society. It’s slowing down that’s hard. Take time to love somebody.

Truth

My facebook status currently reads “Craig is learning about Truth.” Last week, Craig was learning about Love. It’s interesting to note that I couldn’t tell you when I stopped learning about Love and started learning about Truth. This is because, I think, the two flow together seamlessly. Just like all themes of Christianity (except it seems to me that good themes flow together on an opposite pole from bad themes like selfishness, pridefulness, and dishonesty).

Anyways, I’ve learned a lot about truth and about the lies I tell myself lately. It’s been an amazing past couple of weeks as I’ve realized that the truth is convicting to those of us who are perfect. It, like exercise to the body, makes us feel good about ourselves in a healthy fashion, unlike lies which, like sweets and excessive video gaming, are instantly gratifying and pleasurable. My decreasing fear of the Truth has caused me to put more of myself into relationships (that is, make myself more vulnerable in conversation–giving my friend power over me in a sense) which has yeilded fruit in the form of more trusting relationships and friends who are willing to tell me intimate details of their lives so that I can have something of them to love and protect. Truth is amazing.

Anyways, I regard everything pro-Christian with extreme skepticism as I’ve found more-often-than-not the case is that these slogans, movies, policies, etc are driven by hateful intentions and seek to elevate Christians above other social groups. This is the worst place for Christians. Christianity is good, but it should never be powerful in worldly ways. As such, it should not successfully be attractive to the world as many Churches try to make it (however, the opposite–that which is unattractive or boring is Godly–is not necessarily true).

All of this was going to point to a quote that I saw, but it’s deeper than I can really grasp so I won’t comment on what I don’t understand. But the above pretty much points to what I thought it meant. :p

Denial

This is where I spend most of my life.

This is also a major root as to why I’m dishonest with others.

When I stop trying to cover up the truths that I feel threaten me (that I’m not a “good” person, that I have a good understanding of God, that I’m cool, that I’m in control/have power, etc), I realize they’re not as scary and they’re also true of everyone.

I believe the same is true of you.

Also, when I’m honest with myself, I can be honest about myself with others which helps them realize truth isn’t that scary. It also lets you build a healthy, trusting relationship with that person.

I hate clichés but…

Honesty is the best policy. Damn.