Love Somebody

07Dec08

This is a copy/paste of one of Derek’s Facebook notes.  We’ve been talking a lot about this lately and I’m really glad he wrote this. I know it’s something he’s been frustrated with lately, so it’s pretty raw, which is great. Here it is:

I have a lot of frustration with my world lately. I feel like no one wants to be honest. No one wants to seek the things that really matter. Everyone is so concerned with what everyone else thinks of them that they end up wearing a mask in every setting they’re in. Someone who is blatantly honest about the way they are feeling is seen as rude. It’s socially unacceptable. It makes people uncomfortable when someone shares what is really going on inside them. But isn’t that the most important? What is a friendship or relationship based on if that isn’t acceptable?

We all act like everything is 100% peachy all the time. There is no way that is reality. In a world as messed up as this one, someone we interact with on a daily basis is probably having a bad day for one reason or another. Either we don’t care enough to really ask someone how they’re really doing or when someone does ask us that question, we don’t say how we’re really feeling. We lie. We put on the happy mask that says everything in my life is great! How do we ever expect to help each other and really be there for each other if we aren’t transparent enough to tell people how we’re really doing? How do we ever expect other people to overcome struggle in their lives when we won’t even admit our own?

What is and isn’t socially acceptable annoys the crap out of me. If someone says “Come and talk to me if you need anything,” then mean it. It’s that simple. If you want to be there for someone, then be there for someone. That person is not usually going to ask you for help when they’re really down. They’re not going to want to talk about it. IF you’re a true friend, then love on them. Do something. Take initiative. It doesn’t mean you need to be the Dr. Phil in their lives. Just be there. It doesn’t take much too really show someone you care about them.

It seems to me that there are so many things that are backwards in my life. I would tell you that the friendships I have in my life are very important to me. I feel like they should be more important than a night of studying. Yet how easy is it to use school as an excuse to not spend time with someone? “Oh, believe me I would hang out with you, but I’ve got a busy next three weeks. How about sometime during Christmas break?” Congratulations. You’ve just succeeded in making someone feel like they don’t matter to you. Of course you’re busy. We’re all busy. Busy is easy to do in our society. It’s slowing down that’s hard. Take time to love somebody.

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